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Resistance is Futile
Season 1, Episode 13 (13th overall)
Resistance is Futile.png
Air date January 31, 1997
Written by Kevin Kopelow and Heath Seifert
Directed by Irene Sherman
Episode guide
Previous Comics of Champions
Next Won't Stick to Most Dental Work!
Episode guide (rerun)
Previous Not Just for People Anymore!
Next What the Astronauts Drink!

"Resistance is Futile" is the 13th episode of KaBlam!. It is the 13th and last episode of the first season.

Segments

Henry and June Act 1
Sniz and Fondue
Henry and June Act 2
Action League Now!
Henry and June Act 3
The Off-Beats
Henry and June Act 4
Prometheus and Bob
Henry and June Act 5


Henry and June Act 1
Henry&June KaBlam! Avards.jpg Live with a capacity crowd on hand at the First Annual KaBlammy Awards, Henry and June will give out the most coveted award on basic cable television, the "KaBlammy." The big winner is not only taking home a handsome statuette, but a new car, too! Henry says he hasn't been this excited since they invented permanent ink, but the crowd isn't amused. Speaking of permanent, the first "KaBlammy" nominee will always hold a permanent place in Henry and June's hearts, Sniz and Fondue.

Sniz and Fondue
Sniz&Fondue War of the Supergeeks.jpg

War of the Supergeeks

At breakfast, Sniz and Fondue engage in a staring-while-eating contest, before fighting for a prize in the cereal box. Snuppa says there's only one way to settle this dispute, with a tribunal featuring him as judge and Bianca as the bailiff. Sniz clamors to get on with it already, but Bianca pours a glass of ice cold water on him as Fondue comments "this is a strict court." Snuppa rules that the tribunal decided that there is only one way to settle a dispute over the cereal box prize, with a triathlon. The winner of two out of three events gets the prize. Fondue complains that the prize should already be his, and the court is twisted. Snuppa rules him out of order, but Fondue fires back and says everyone is out of order, before he's doused with ice cold water. The first event is the Brownie Bake-O-Rama, whichever baker has a delicious pile of brownies delivered to Snuppa and Bianca in the television room in less than an hour is the winner. Sniz gloats that he's pouring while Fondue is still mixing. Fondue then ruins Sniz's work by dumping salt all over it. Sniz tries to cheat his way out of cooking by racing down to The Creamy Connection bakery shop to buy brownies as Fondue is bringing his creation out of the oven and cutting into pieces. Sniz and Fondue get to the television room and deliver at about the same time, as Snuppa determines it a tie. The second event is the "contest of precision," whoever folds the most laundry (all of it belonging to Bianca and Snuppa) will win. Sniz and Fondue are neck-in-neck in the competition, but stop for a moment to giggle over finding Bianca's pink underwear. All even and with one final item to fold, a yellow sheet, they fight over it but Bianca determines the event a tie as she and Snuppa collect their folded laundry. The final event is a "contest of machismo" (wrestling match), whoever gets the first pin takes the prize. Sniz goes for a "mighty, mighty jump" and lands on top of Fondue. Sniz apologizes and worries that he might have crushed Fondue's organs. They make a decision to share the cereal box prize. Bianca and Snuppa aren't happy with the ending, as they wanted an "interesting climax." Sniz and Fondue say they'll give them one, by holding their own tribunal. Snuppa and Bianca are sentenced to return all of Sniz and Fondue's late videos, trim the two's nose hairs and wear t-shirts that say "Sniz and Fondúe Rule!" for the rest of their lives. They object, before Sniz sprays them with a water hose.


Henry and June Act 2
Henry&June Musical.jpg When June thinks of the many prestigious programs that have graced KaBlam! the past year, it makes her want to sing! She and Henry, along with The KaBlammy Dancers, perform "The KaBlammy Song" which makes references to Sniz and Fondue, Prometheus and Bob and Action League Now!. The audience applauds as the latter, the second "KaBlammy" nominee, is introduced next.

Action League Now!
Action League Now! Testimony of Terror.jpg

Testimony of Terror

The Action League arrives to a safe house. The Chief commands to lock it down, as The Flesh closes and locks the door, but Meltman is launched onto the sidewalk, ran over via bicycle. The Chief explains that a child, named "The Kid," is a key witness in the trial of The Mayor, who is liable to try anything to silence him. The League must guard The Kid with their lives. Stinky Diver says the job is going to be "cake," before The Flesh gets hungry and looks for the fridge. Thundergirl then wonders where The Kid went, before a vase crushes her and the League. He laughs and says he wants to play another game. The Mayor has arrived outside the safe house and says once he silences The Kid, he'll walk free. Meanwhile, the League is focusing with "laser-like intensity" on their mission, by playing a game of hide-and-seek with The Kid. The Flesh searches the laundry room and hears The Kid calling him a "naked numbskull" from the washing machine. As The Flesh corrects The Kid, he looks inside the washing machine, but The Kid closes the lid, and The Flesh is trapped. The Kid then sets the washing machine and runs off, laughing. Meltman overhears The Flesh and thinks he's doing his laundry, but then realizes that The Flesh is naked, so he doesn't have any laundry. Meltman steps into the middle of a waffle iron, which The Kid traps him in and turns on, making Meltman melt and smell "like breakfast" as The Kid laughs. In the living room, Stinky complains that he's a superhero, not a babysitter. The Kid calls him "smelly" by the VCR as Stinky climbs inside it. Unfortunately, he is trapped and finds himself starring in an underwater show being chased by a hungry shark as The Kid laughs while watching it. Thundergirl searches the house for The Kid from an aerial view. A fan then beheads her. Thundergirl calls The Kid a "very naughty boy" but he says she's "very decapitated" and laughs. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. Thundergirl tells The Kid not to answer it, but he doesn't listen and rushes outside, thinking it's more playmates. Outside is a present, but as soon as it opens, The Mayor is revealed, ready to get his revenge. The washing machine stops and The Flesh, very dizzy, climbs out of it. He then lands on the waffle iron, opening it and revealing Meltman, whose body is now squished like a waffle. They hear yelling for help and run off, gathering up the rest of the Action League to save The Kid. In the living room, Stinky is still being chased by the shark. The Flesh, wondering where Stinky is, accidentally steps on the eject button of the remote, as Stinky flies out of the VCR and lands on Thundergirl's body, which connects with her head. The Flesh, having heard a yell for help again, tells Stinky and Thundergirl that The Kid is in trouble. On the table, The Mayor is about to push him off with a pencil. The Mayor gets distracted by the League who is actually cheering for him to get The Kid. The Mayor is then knocked off the table. At that moment, the Chief returns and asks the League what's going on. Thundergirl innocently replies that the League caught The Mayor and they scold him. The Chief is proud of the Action League and asks where The Kid is, who pushes a bowl off the table that lands on the League and The Mayor. The Kid laughs and says he wants to play another game.


Henry and June Act 3
Henry&June Anvil.jpg For decades, cartoon characters have been squashed by anvils and surviving, thanks to a technique called the "Accordion Squash." Henry and June present the inventor of it, Dr. Ferdinand Blem, with the "KaBlammy" Lifetime Achievement award. Blem in his award acceptance speech has to thank many people, but Henry and June realize they're crunched for time, so they crush him with an anvil that demonstrates the as-mentioned technique. The Accordion Squash, always a crowd-pleaser, just like the third "KaBlammy" nominee, The Off-Beats.

The Off-Beats
The Off-Beats Intro.jpg

Betty Anne's Glasses

Betty Anne Bongo sings a song to her friends and furiously plays a solo on her bongos, before she loses her glasses, wondering where everyone went. The Populars find the glasses and Tina sports them, mocking Betty Anne's song as the group laughs. Betty Anne and Repunzil ask the Populars if they've seen the glasses, which Tina can't recall, nor Beth. The Populars laugh once again after Betty Anne and Repunzil leave, before Repunzil comes back for a moment to compliment Tina's "new glasses." Tommy shows up to ask the Populars if they've seen Betty Anne's glasses, which Tina says they haven't. Tommy wants to know if they're sure, as Tina says they're sure, before Tommy yells if they're "absolutely sure?!" as Tina softly says "yes." Tommy then leaves, as Billy says that was close. August is eager to use his Eyewear Detector XP-47 while September says "it's the little things," as they meet with the Populars to ask about the glasses. August's invention locates the eyewear, but Tina says she and the group have not seen them. August then leaves, despite the invention saying he's going the "wrong way." Beth calls out an "adult" and the Populars put on phony smiles as Grubby Groo approaches. September then gets an idea as he walks away. August is mocked by his invention which calls him a "chicken," before it's shut down, and he comes to the conclusion that the Populars have Betty Anne's glasses. Tina continues to mock Betty Anne before Beth calls out another approaching adult. September, dressed as a human (with help from August, Tommy, Repunzil and Betty Anne's hands and feet), proclaims himself as the President. Beth says he looks different, with September mentioning "stress" as the reason. Tina gets suspicious and asks September where the President lives, and he says Washington, successfully convincing the Populars. September says he's looking for Betty Anne's glasses, before Tina blushes and says she was just keeping them "warm." September is given them and then he tells the Populars to "vote" for him. Betty Anne (now with her glasses again), Tommy, August, Repunzil and September (still wearing the toupee from the President outfit) walk by the Populars. Billy thinks that September must be the President's dog, but the Populars throw him out of the group.


Henry and June Act 4
Henry&June Prestigious.jpg In an untaped ceremony the other night, Henry and June gave out "KaBlammy" awards in other prestigious categories. June doubts that they were actually "prestigious" as Henry gives her a dirty look. Regardless, the two announce that Loopy of Life with Loopy won for Best Acting While Impersonating an Egg, and Prometheus and Bob for Best Supporting Monkey. Henry says he can see why the judges were so "bowled over" (referring to Prometheus and Bob winning) but once again, the audience finds his joke unfunny. Henry and June then introduce the final "KaBlammy" nominee, Prometheus and Bob.

Prometheus and Bob
Prom&Bob Kite.jpg

Tape #99: Kite

Prometheus teaches Bob how to fly a kite. Prometheus lifts it into the air as Bob holds the control bar. Bob then lets go of the bar, and the kite flies away, leaving him amused. On another attempt, the kite is in the air, but the Monkey wants a turn to control it. Prometheus tells Bob not to hand it over, but it's too late as the Monkey goes airborne with the kite. The Monkey continues to fly around on the kite as Bob crashes into the camera. Prometheus now wears a jetpack and goes after the flying Monkey, before getting caught by Bob, and the three all crash into each other. The Monkey is tied up and can't go anywhere, as Bob steals the jetpack and takes himself and Prometheus for a ride. Prometheus's remote control falls from the sky and the Monkey grabs it to shut off the camera.


Henry and June Act 5
Henry&June give out Price.jpg Ready to announce the winner of the "KaBlammy" Henry mentions that all of the nominees are winners but June says that one of them will win a new car, and the others will get absolutely nothing. The winner is...Action League Now!. Meltman and The Flesh accept the award via satellite but then get run over by the "new car" (based on the scene from the previous episode). Then, Henry and June bring out the KaBlammy Dancers to help them turn the final page of the comic book.

Characters

Henry and June

Sniz and Fondue

Action League Now!

The Off-Beats

Prometheus and Bob

Trivia

  • The episode title comes from a line spoken in prior science fiction television programming including Doctor Who, Space: 1999 and Star Trek: The Next Generation.
  • "The KaBlammy Song" can be found on The Best of Nickelodeon Nicktoons, released on compact disc and vinyl, containing songs/audio tracks from various Nickelodeon programming.
  • Dr. Ferdinand Blem was voiced by Mark Marek, the creator of the Henry and June segments.
  • Although it is at least referred to, it is the third episode overall and in a row without a Life with Loopy segment.
  • It is the last episode to use the "Skaternity" end credits music as this was changed in later seasons.
  • This is the first time Betty Anne Bongo sings her theme song.
  • This episode is banned from streaming on Paramount+ possibly because of the referenced Life with Loopy being "Egghead". It appeared on "Comics for Tomorrow Today!", which was not included as well, due to the Action League Now! two-parter "The Wrath of Spotzilla".

Transcript

For the Transcript to the Episode, click here!

Gallery

For the Gallery to the Episode, click here!

The Kablammy Song

For the Song to the Episode, click here!

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