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Hurts So Good
Season 2, Episode 3 (16th overall)
Hurts So Good.png
Air date October 3, 1997
Written by Michael Rubiner
Directed by Mark Marek
Episode guide
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Next Harold's Glow-in-the-Dark Brand Butter
Episode guide (rerun)
Previous Harold's Glow-in-the-Dark Brand Butter
Next I Just Don't Get It

"Hurts So Good!!" is the 16th episode of KaBlam!. It is the third episode of the second season.

Segments

Henry and June Act 1
Sniz and Fondue
Henry and June Act 2
Action League Now!
Henry and June Act 3
Life with Loopy
Henry and June Act 4
Prometheus and Bob
Henry and June Act 5






Henry and June Act 1
Henry&June Staplethon.jpg Henry says it takes more than great cartoons to put together a show like KaBlam!. June agrees, saying it takes staples, which supply of is running "dangerously low" as she slides into the comic book. The show hosts the first ever KaBlam! Staplethon (a parody of a telethon), with phone operators standing by for staple pledges. However, the operators — including Jeff the Sad Dinosaur, Captain Snuffy, Hector and Dr. Ferdinand Blem who were all seen in past episodes — don't receive any calls. Henry pleads that the great entertainment on KaBlam! is worth a few measly staples, but still, there are no calls. June then tells the viewers that Mr. Foot knows where they all live and he can pluck their heads off like grapes, before the phones begin ringing off the hook. Henry and June are happy with the "spirit of giving," as they give in return the "spirit of laughter" by turning the page to Sniz and Fondue.

Sniz and Fondue
Sniz&Fondue Celluloid Sins.jpg

Celluloid Sins

Sniz and Fondue negatively walk out of a movie that they saw at Fortyplex Screens. However, Sniz encourages Fondue to engage in the art of "plexing," by hopping from theater to theater and not getting caught. Fondue ponders if it's a criminal offense, but Sniz asks "life moves fast, in or out, in or out?" as he goes into the theater. Fondue wants to follow, but a security guard approaches him and asks for his ticket stub. Fondue hands it over, but the guard notices the film he went to already let out and asks if he is having trouble locating the exit. Fondue nods, and grumbles as he exits the building, waiting for Sniz to eventually come out. Fondue then yells at him, asking when did he become such a psychotic criminal, but Sniz makes his case for "cinematic justice" after being ripped off $8.50 of the movie he and Fondue watched earlier in the day. Fondue argues that breaking the law is not justice, but Sniz says there comes a time when one has to write their own plot in the nutty-old movie of life. A week later, Sniz and Fondue are coming out of the theater after seeing "Shapiro: 3rd Contact." Fondue hopes Sniz got his money's worth this time around, but he zips into another theater for more plexing. The security guard once again approaches Fondue and points out the exit to him. One week later, again, Sniz is excited to go see "The Creature That Chewed with its Mouth Open" but Fondue says he'd rather put his hat through a paper shredder. Nevertheless, he will accompany Sniz to the movie to make sure there is no more plexing. As they walk out of the theater, Fondue changes his mind and says the movie was strangely satisfying, Sniz agreeing it was worth 850 pennies. As they head to the exit, Sniz points out his shirt to Fondue, and rips it apart to unveil his superhero persona as the "Multiplexer." He races into a theater, with Fondue following and looking for him. However, the security guard catches Fondue and Sniz says a particular someone has to work on their technique. In a security room at Fortyplex Screens, the guard demands Fondue sign a confession, or he will lose his hat permanently. Fondue refuses, saying he isn't a plexer, and the guard asks who he's covering up for, as the interrogation is synced up with a scene from a movie Sniz is watching in the theater. Sniz then realizes what he's done, as he runs out of the theater and notices the lobby is empty. He then checks inside the security room, which is empty but sees Fondue's hat. Sniz ditches his "Multiplexer" outfit and, bare naked, walks out of the building. Fondue is removed from Fortyplex Cinemas and banned indefinitely, before Sniz finds him and the guard, admitting he was the plexer and he's changed his ways, promising to pay to see bad movies like everyone else. Despite confessing, Sniz is banned too. Fondue is proud that Sniz has become cured of his "ill behavior," but they are both disappointed that they're banned from Fortyplex Cinemas. However, it just means they'll have to visit the neighboring Hundredplex Cinemas.


Henry and June Act 2
Henry&June Promo.jpg Henry is satisfied after another "pants-ripping" episode of Sniz and Fondue. June agrees, saying it was so "well-stapled together." Henry reminds if the viewers would like to continue enjoying the "KaBlamarific-entertainment," they need to pledge staples. In return, he and June offer some products, including Meltman oven mitts (1,000 staples pledged) and Prometheus and Bob air fresheners (500 staples pledged). If one pledges at the very moment, Henry will distribute a 12-month "power tools" calendar (featuring photos of Henry, shirtless, reflecting his ever-changing moods), but everyone calling in hangs up. June then makes up an excuse that they ran out of the calendars and everyone calls back in. Speaking of "scary shirtless guys," June turns the page to the Flesh and Action League Now!.

Action League Now!
Action League Now! Incident at Chlorine Lake.jpg

Incident at Chlorine Lake

A crowd gathers to a resort opened up by the Mayor, where he says it will make him rich! The Action League even show up to visit, where they stand in line for $50 hot dogs. A mysterious predator attacks one of the swimmers, who calls for help. Meltman, thinking it's one of the League's fans, waves to him. The swimmer is then taken underwater and eaten, Meltman wondering why he stopped waving, before body parts of various swimmers are washed ashore, a hand landing on the Flesh's hot dog. Stinky Diver calls for everyone to evacuate, which they do before a trophy bass jumps out. Bill the Lab Guy and the League, in a somber mood, gather at Bill's lab next to the swimmer's severed hand. Meltman jokes to not bother reading his lifeline as the League laughs. Bill figures out the killer is a trophy bass, a magnificent creature and something he's wanted to study for years. Stinky says Bill can study it after it's been harpooned, gutted, and served with chips and vinegar. The League moves out, with a job to do, yet Bill says he has one too. Moments later, with the lake now locked down, the Mayor protests it can't be closed just because of some freak accident and he proclaims the waters are safe. However, the trophy bass spits up body parts and the Mayor admits the water is a bit "choppy." Meanwhile, Bill and his daughter, Quarky, are in a boat with a crane and viewing cage. Bill is looking through a telescope, but this is revealed to be a kaleidoscope with changing colors. They get back to the task at hand, and prepares the viewing cage. Moments later, the Mayor is still trying to prove the lake is safe by going into the water, but then the trophy bass eats him. Underwater, he asks if anyone is up for a little Marco Polo. Back at the boat, Bill is lowered into the water via the viewing cage, and he studies the trophy bass. However, it attacks and as Quarky raises the damaged cage out of the water, Bill is missing, given the idea he has been eaten. In a speedboat, the League charges through the water, before Stinky Diver goes in. The League then drives the speedboat off a ramp out of the water, and into a stand ran by the Mayor, which sells bass repellent for $10 each. Stinky finds Bill alive, and asks him to stand back as he will terminate the trophy bass with "extreme prejudice." Bill protests and says in the name of science, he can't let that happen and the trophy bass isn't evil, it's just hungry. The trophy bass then eats Bill. Stinky fires his spear gun at the trophy bass, but is pulled across the lake, eventually jumping out of it and into a road, where a truck runs over the trophy bass. Bill grieves over the loss and asks when will the killings stop, but Stinky says science guys just don't get it, as man was born to dominate the Earth and crush adversaries in the wild. A car then runs over Stinky.


Henry and June Act 3
Henry&June Stapling.jpg Henry and June are impressed with the "action" of the Action League Now! episode and there's plenty more of it to come on the KaBlam! Staplethon. As the operators continue to take calls, June points out show stagehand Ron Speagle, who is prepping a page of the comic book to be stapled, so she and Henry interview him. As Mr. Foot provides a drum roll, Ron staples the page, which is then shown on instant replay, in slow motion. Henry and June celebrate Ron and offer him the opportunity to introduce Life with Loopy, but he turns it down. Instead, Henry turns the page to it.

Life with Loopy
Life with Loopy Goldfish Ghost.jpg

"Goldfish Ghost"

Larry tells the viewers a secret, the week before someone in the family had a "wee accident," a case of "leaky meter hosen." In layman's terms, Loopy wet the bed. Loopy pleads that she never did, but Dad says it's nothing to be ashamed of and some of history's greatest heroes like Julius Caesar and Joan of Arc had "plumbing problems." Mom says even Dad has had them. Loopy still argues she is not wetting the bed, but Mom knows it's just a phase she is going through and the family loves her just the same. Loopy then tells the rest of the family the scoop, recalling when her pet goldfish Elliot died and he was flushed down the toilet because that's where goldfish heaven was located and she dressed up as a goldfish and swam down to find his ghost. Now every night, Elliot jumps out of the toilet to visit Loopy, but the problem is, he always leaves a wet patch on her bed. Mom says that's a nice story, and Dad prefers to hear the truth instead. Larry feels kind of bad for Loopy, but even he doesn't believe her. At night, Loopy is asleep, before Elliot comes into her room. He asks what's wrong, and Loopy says they've got to stop meeting like they have. Instead, she prefers to meet in the laundry room. Elliot thinks about it, and then he says it's time Loopy forget about him and get herself a new pet. She is introduced to Fin City, an exotic fish and aquarium supplies store, with "an ocean of possibilities." They look at some of the fish, but Loopy doesn't really have any favorites, saying the relationship she and Elliot share is special and you just can't buy it in a store. Elliot sighs, before he stumbles back and knocks down a trash can, where a cat appears out of it. Elliot then runs away from the cat, where he is led to the Cooper household's back door and into the bathroom's toilet. Loopy notices the cat is hungry, and offers it some tuna. Larry says we'll all never know what exactly happened that night, but he gets a feeling that's the last we'll ever hear about Loopy's little plumbing problem, as she sleeps with her new cat friend.


Henry and June Act 4
Mr.Foot Balloon Animal.jpg At the 20th minute of the KaBlam! Staplethon, the "KaBlam-ertainment" is really heating up. While the pledges continue to come in, June introduces Henry, who tries making an animal balloon. However, he is right next to an on-the-phone Mr. Foot and making a lot of noise with the balloon, which when complete, explodes. Mr. Foot gets angry and then turns Henry into an animal balloon. June says THAT is "KaBlam-ertainment," just like Prometheus and Bob, which she turns the page to.

Prometheus and Bob
Prom&Bob Boxing.jpg

Tape #10, Boxing

Prometheus has set up a dummy for Bob to box on. Prometheus fits the gloves onto Bob's hands, and then demonstrates boxing punches onto the dummy, but Bob gets scared as he hugs it. Next, Bob and the dummy are playing as Prometheus has set up an actual punching bag this time around. Prometheus asks Bob to watch as he punches the bag. Bob goes next, but punches Prometheus in the ribs and then the bag as it flips around and knocks both of them down as the Monkey comes in and laughs. Then, Monkey and Bob are preparing to spar, but Bob scares Monkey away. Prometheus goes to find Monkey, as Bob tries some punches on himself. Prometheus is then presumably punched back into view, as Monkey and another one of his kind (a tall monkey) appear, scaring Bob away. The tall monkey then grabs the dummy and hugs it. Finally, the tall monkey and Bob are fighting over the dummy before it splits in half. They both cry as Monkey tosses the remote control to Prometheus, who shuts off the camera.


Henry and June Act 5
Henry&June Choir.jpg The KaBlam! Staplethon is coming to an end. Henry says a lot of staples (99,999) and a lot of memories have been collected. But, June says words alone can't really express feelings, so she, in song, leads every main character from Life with Loopy, Prometheus and Bob, Action League Now!, and Sniz and Fondue. The comic book is then closed.

Characters

Henry and June

Sniz and Fondue

Action League Now!

Life with Loopy

Prometheus and Bob

Trivia

  • Last appearance of Hector.
  • The episode title is a reference to the 1982 song "Hurts So Good" by American singer-songwriter John Mellencamp (at the time, penned under his stage name John Cougar).

Music

Henry and June

  • Big Show Theme - Robert Sharples ("That's why we're holding the first KaBlam! Staplethon!")
  • Shock Horror (a) - Dick Walter (Mr. Foot eats a grape)
  • Bye, Bye, Baby [original music by the Moon Ska Stompers] (Henry and June introduce Sniz and Fondue)
  • Tonight's Prizes - Dick Walter (prizes from the Staplethon)
  • Don't Let the B*stards Grind You Down [original music by the Moon Ska Stompers] (June introduces Action League Now!/upcoming segments)
  • Tonight's Prizes - Dick Walter (shot of Ron Speagle)
  • The Equalizer - Sam Spence (instant replay of him stapling a page)
  • Everything You Said Has Been a Lie [original music by the Moon Ska Stompers] (next cartoon)
  • Exit Stage Left - Ron Aspery (Henry tries to make an animal balloon/Mr. Foot turns Henry into an animal balloon)
  • Bye, Bye, Baby [original music by the Moon Ska Stompers] ("Now that's what I call Kablam-ertainment!")
  • KaBlam! Staplethon Song - Stanley Schwartz (original composition)
  • Everything You Said Has Been a Lie [original music by the Moon Ska Stompers] (ending/credits)

Action League Now!

  • Bossa Cubana - Gerhard Narholz (opening)
  • Night Butcher - Richard Harvey (danger lurks)
  • House of Horror - W. Merrick Farran (guy gets chewed on)
  • Shock (O) - Dave Hewson (guy goes underwater)
  • Night Butcher - Richard Harvey ("I wonder why he stopped waving.")
  • Flight in Panic 1 - Gregor Narholz (everyone evacuates)
  • [original music by Nat Kerr and Rick Witkowski] (intro)
  • Hangman (B) - Dave Hewson ("We find our heroes in a somber mood, pondering a terrible tragedy.")
  • The Killing Ground (a) - Richard Harvey ("So have I, Mr. Diver. So have I!")
  • [original music by Nat Kerr and Rick Witkowski] ("Moments later...")
  • Mysteries of the Mind (B) - Harry Gregson-Williams (Bill the Lab Guy looks through a kaleidoscope)
  • [original music by Nat Kerr and Rick Witkowski] (the Mayor in the pool)
  • Shock Discord (B) - David Farnon [CPM] (the Mayor then gets chomped on)
  • [original music by Nat Kerr and Rick Witkowski] ("Anyone up for a little Marco Polo?")
  • Dangerous (A) - Mladen Franko (Bill gets lowered into the pool)
  • [original music by Nat Kerr and Rick Witkowski] (end of 1st half of segment/Action League Now!/Stinky Diver goes into the pool/the Mayor selling bass repellent)
  • House of Horror - W. Merrick Farran (trophy bass comes toward Stinky Diver and Bill the Lab Guy)
  • Attack - Tony Hymas (Stinky Diver goes after the fish)
  • [original music by Nat Kerr and Rick Witkowski] (ending)
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